Lately, my husband and I have been grappling with what we should do next.
Do we try to get pregnant again naturally?
Do we look into IVF?
Do we continue to inch toward adoption?
None of these decisions are easy. With option 1, we are more than likely to fail and endure more heartbreak. But then again, I did get pregnant naturally-so something is possible. But how long do we try before we move onto something else?
IVF isn't a sure thing...and, while every penny is worth it if it results in a baby, draining our newly acquired savings and still ending up empty-handed scares me. Also, my doctor already warned me that the Reproductive Endocrinologists may demand I use donor eggs due to my age (I am on the border of the average age they require them). I'm not sure how I feel about that yet. I might agree to use donor eggs if they agree to harvest my eggs, and do a FSH test (genetics) on resulting embyos and implant those as well.
Adoption has been on our minds for awhile. It is never seems to be the the right time--well, one of us would adopt tomorrow, and one if us is more hesitant and wants to wait for certain things to happen first. Also, do we struggle with adoption from foster care or go overseas? I have no illusions about adopting a newborn here in the US. It won't happen. It's a flawed system.
It's such a hard decision. Time is short.
I wish I had a crystal ball. A glimpse into the future. A sign with "pick me" hanging over the "right" choice.