Wednesday, February 2, 2011

What road do we go down?

Lately, my husband and I have been grappling with what we should do next.

Do we try to get pregnant again naturally?
Do we look into IVF?
Do we continue to inch toward adoption?

None of these decisions are easy.  With option 1, we are more than likely to fail and endure more heartbreak.  But then again, I did get pregnant naturally-so something is possible. But how long do we try before we move onto something else?

IVF isn't a sure thing...and, while every penny is worth it if it results in a baby, draining our newly acquired savings and still ending up empty-handed scares me.  Also, my doctor already warned me that the Reproductive Endocrinologists may demand I use donor eggs due to my age (I am on the border of the average age they require them).  I'm not sure how I feel about that yet.  I might agree to use donor eggs if they agree to harvest my eggs, and do a FSH test (genetics) on resulting embyos and implant those as well. 

Adoption has been on our minds for awhile.  It is never seems to be the the right time--well, one of us would adopt tomorrow, and one if us is more hesitant and wants to wait for certain things to happen first.  Also, do we struggle with adoption from foster care or go overseas? I have no illusions about adopting a newborn here in the US. It won't happen. It's a flawed system.

It's such a hard decision.  Time is short.

I wish I had a crystal ball.  A glimpse into the future. A sign with "pick me" hanging over the "right" choice.


  1. No easy answers. We adopted from foster care, and it really wasn't a struggle. But I know our situation isn't always the way it plays out; there's no guarantee. Best wishes as you seek the right choice.

  2. The decision is not easy, I agree. It was kind of made for us, as IVF was covered by insurance and adoption was not (go figure). You could try a mix of all of the above, with self imposed deadlines: try by yourself for 6 months, try IUI 3 times, all the while filling out the adoption paperwork.

  3. Whichever path you choose, it'll be the right one because there is now "wrong" one.

  4. when we were facing our failed IUI and at the crossroads of what to do, a friend said to me "Laurie, you know the only guarantee with fertility treatments is that you will be out a lot of money. With adoption, the guarantee is that you WILL be a mother by the end of it." That did it for me. I wanted so desperately to be a mother. We took the steps we needed to be certified...welcomed our toddler son home 6 months later, and now 3 kids and one on the way...we have never looked back. And two of our four will have been U.S. newborn adoptions. It CAN happen and does every day across the U.S. I am going to keep praying for your path to be made clear. *hugs*