Wednesday, March 21, 2012

I already am discourgaed by the system...otherwise known as "At least I have a clean house, now"

So,  we are officially licensed foster parents now.   I was waiting to tell you when I got the "Official" Paper, however, that seems lost in a shuffle of paperwork on someones desk--believe me, for 7 weeks I have been asking where that paper is and I keep hearing "Everything is done--it will be going out soon"...
However, yesterday we got a call for a newborn placement.  Baby boy born recently, going home today. Without going into details-the agency believes this child will eventually be up for adoption based on past history of the family.  So we said YES! and I started making a list-things to buy, things to ask--I took advantage of this event and rallied the husband into cleaning the house.

Then then waiting started.  Waiting for the social worker to get in touch with Child services, waiting for Child Services to get paperwork on the child. waiting for the caseworker to get that paperwork to the right desk, waiting for them to say we could go pick up baby boy, waiting, waiting, waiting. 24 hours of waiting.  

and then we were told we couldn't have the baby. 

Child Services used to be the only place to be a foster parent.  Then they stopped taking new foster parents and all these agencies were created-We could not foster parent directly with Child Services.  We had to go to an agency because of this system.  The agencies have all the foster parents now-and child services calls the agencies who in turn  find homes for children.
Except that isn't entirely true.  Child Services still has their old foster parents.  They don't get new ones-but they have all these families willing to foster-it's a direct route.   Child services calls them directly to foster-not going through and agency.

So where was I?  Oh baby needs a home.
Child Services called our agency because of a sibling....but when that fell through our agency contacted us...
when our agency called with our names Child services said ummmm NO.  We will place with one of "our families" because it is cheaper since baby can't go with sibling.  Not-"wonderful!, you have a family that is willing to ride this out and provide a one stable home if he is able to be adopted."  Just "no thanks--we will place with any of our families because it is cheaper".

So-rollercoaster of a time the last 2 days.  Ending on a low....but we are getting a good understanding of how things work-and why everyone complains about the system....

On the bright side-I have a clean house.


Sunday, March 4, 2012

Random Update

I haven't been around here much lately-just not in a writing mood, I guess. I have 5 posts started but have not felt like finishing them.  Oh well. It will pass-or I will just force myself to start again.  Spring (and daylight savings time) is coming-and my mood will lighten with warmer weather and daylight. Guaranteed.

But here's the short version of what's new:

1)  We are supposedly certified to foster.  It has been a month and still no letter confirming that, despite several emails on my part.

2) Our profile was sent away for consideration for a toddler in need of a family.  We never heard anything back-and that's the way it works.  If you don't hear anything-they chose someone else.  No polite kiss off letter-you just wait and wonder.

3) We inquired on another toddler posted on our state's adoption listings.  The children there are typically "hard to place" for various reasons-age, race, large sibling group, medical and cognitive conditions.  I know this-and can read between the lines about some of the problems not actually stated.  What I knew about this child's "issue" probably meant several surgery and therapies- but would lead a typical kid life..   However, once we got more info we ended up "passing" on this little one.  Sadly, what wasn't stated was a very serious medical condition that is just too far out of our comfort zone.  Sigh.   I knew it couldn't be "that" easy.

4) I started a partial "envelope system" to help us budget more carefully.  I was always so pissed when I paid the bills to see just how much we spent using debit cards-the money just melts away without you realizing it.  So I pay the bills and withdraw the next two weeks worth of food, house stuff and miscellaneous money.  The debit card is only gas and prescriptions.  The first 2 weeks went well, with only a little bit of overage spending on the debit card.  The next 2 weeks will be a little rougher-since the bills are higher the 1st of the month-but I really feel we are on the right path here.  With some thought I think I can balance everything-and stop nickel and dime-ing the savings account to cover our overspending.

That's the the winter, I basically hibernate-so not much to say.