I started my new position and it is everything I thought it would be. I love being in one place-having all my materials there. The kids are great-most what I consider with a "typical delay"....a few really challenging. Really. challenging. I have several students who are non-verbal with severe autism. One child is globally delayed and completely blind. A couple kids have behavior problems in addition to their delays. Kids who deliberately throw sand at me, try to hit me, etc. while smiling and smirking. Just the challenge I wanted. I am learning to think big-but start small. I was lucky this week-many students were absent, so I got to know many of my students without the time crunch schedule I have most days. I am still trying to clean up things from my old position-and have several tasks that need immediate attention in the new one- so juggling tasks from both jobs is stressful. But climbing into my clean car carrying only my lunch box and computer makes the stress magically disappear.
My dog, Chloe, has been to the Vet twice in seven days for things other than check-ups. She has a growth on her gums. Right now it isn't interfering with eating, but it needs to be removed. The doc thinks it isn't something worrisome, but until it is gone and test results confirm that-we are worried enough so we scheduled the surgery for St. Patrick's day.
Chloe didn't like that we said yes to surgery apparently-since she hates all things vet related- and promptly pulled several muscles in her neck while playing with the husband-resulting in another vet visit, a shot and 2 bottles of really good drugs-effectively canceling her surgery for awhile until all the medications leave her system-over a month from now. Oh-and she gets a heating pad a few times a day to relax her even more. So now she is drugged up-but moving much better. I hate seeing her in pain.
I have been having some ups and downs lately....more downs than ups. The bad days are farther apart...but when they happen they sneak up and knock me over. I am frustrated with my body. Of course, I have been for years-but lately the fact that it lets me down monthly is so magnified. It hasn't helped that a coworker had her baby recently. It really doesn't help that I clearly remember the last time I saw her...at 21 weeks-right where I should be now. I was hiding the fact that I was pregnant...but the fact that I was actually asking her questions about her pregnancy (something I clearly avoided before) did not go unnoticed, I found out later. I am really happy for her-but clearly wish it was me.
On a related note, Dear Ben. If you really are getting married-could you please change your supposed wedding date. That date is not one I want to hear or see over and over again.
I am being called for jury duty. I am not happy about this. It isn't that I don't like our justice system. I do. I believe in it. My reasons for hating jury duty are selfish ones. First, the day I am to report is a day off for me. I think if I have to be at jury duty it should not be on my first day off in 3 months. Secondly, I hate going into downtown Pittsburgh. Loathe it. and going at the crack of dawn (I am so not a morning person)-even worse. Can't stand the thought of driving into Pittsburgh...and never have ridden the T since it became the T vs Trolley. What? I moved away for years people-and the husband and I have procrastinated about jumping on and having a fin day on it. Personally, I don't want my first ride to be under duress of where do I get off. How much is it. Do I have exact change? DO they even take cash? What T do I get on. omg. What if I get lost and arrive late? Finally, I truly do not have the personality for jury duty. While not clinically diagnosed with ADHD (which my brother has)-I have some of the traits-and probably would be diagnosed if I actually pursued it. I cannot sit still. I cannot pay attention that long without some distraction-tv, texting, reading. talking. I just cannot do this. Tedious tasks like courtroom stuff make me jiggly and wiggly and omg get me out of there. I cannot focus on one thing at a time while passively sitting. I watch tv and read or surf the web. That's one of the reasons I don't have a desk job. Oh-and do not even tell me that I might be on a jury that stays in session for an extended period of time. If I miss my students therapy-there are no subs. None. and every parent that complains will be awarded compensatory time. and guess who will be responsible for finding time for that. ME. Not my fault but I will be 'punished' for it anyway. Not fair at all.
Spring, please come soon. I need some sunshine and warmth to wipe away this dark mood...