I know, I know..I have been MIA just when things are finally looking up!
So-things are busy busy! We are loving having the Toddler. She is the light of our days-and life. Adjusting has been easy-but not without exhaustion and tears on all our parts-but in a good way mostly!
Our home is messy-and I don't care. I watch Sprout all day some days-and am actually claiming to be improving my career (both as a Mom and in work since all my kids watch these shows. I can actually name a train or 2 besides Thomas!!
She is happy and loving and squeals in delight and comes running now when one of us returns from work (or when we have a training and she goes in the agency daycare).
We have settled into a comfortable routine consisting of--play, eat, park and sleep.
Things are not going well, however, on the legal side of things....A family member came forward and now there is is a good possibility that we will lose The Toddler to her.
We can't catch a break can we?
So we wait. Hold our breaths. And prepare for the worst news ever. (but how does one prepare-our hearts will shatter no matter how much we "prepare"). It isn't like we didn't know this was a (remote) possibility...
In the meantime, we are enjoying our days as if she will be ours for sure-because life is never certain.
I will update when I can. I have some cute stories to share as well.
Friday, June 28, 2013
Thursday, May 23, 2013
FINALLY!
As I write this I am waiting for my husband to finish getting ready. We are on our way to pick up the toddler from this post!
She will be our foster daughter--with plans to file for parental rights termination looming---and then ADOPT!
It has been a crazy few weeks-being told last week we were done. Basically to forget about her. Then this week....things changed!
There (as always in this crazy system) are complications and still the possibility we could lose her but everyone *thinks* that won't happen and she will be ours forever!
She will be our foster daughter--with plans to file for parental rights termination looming---and then ADOPT!
It has been a crazy few weeks-being told last week we were done. Basically to forget about her. Then this week....things changed!
There (as always in this crazy system) are complications and still the possibility we could lose her but everyone *thinks* that won't happen and she will be ours forever!
Saturday, April 20, 2013
Maybe Not
We had a great week visiting the toddler mentioned in my last post. We even had an overnight visit.
Everything was in place. A plan for moving to our care....
And the judge said, "No."
I can't go into details. Reunification with parents is the focus even after almost 20 months and no progress on their part. Sadly, only those who make the big decisions think this is a good plan.
May be next court date, they say. Maybe Not.
We are back on Emergency placement list.
The saying "always a bridesmaid...never a bride" seems to tell the story of our quest to be parents.
Everything was in place. A plan for moving to our care....
And the judge said, "No."
I can't go into details. Reunification with parents is the focus even after almost 20 months and no progress on their part. Sadly, only those who make the big decisions think this is a good plan.
May be next court date, they say. Maybe Not.
We are back on Emergency placement list.
The saying "always a bridesmaid...never a bride" seems to tell the story of our quest to be parents.
Thursday, April 11, 2013
Maybe?
Sometime next week we will hear if a toddler is coming to live with us under pre-adoptive status.
Everything looks good-but we have been here before.
Trying not to get too excited although THIS is the closest we have ever been to finding our child....
Everything hinges on the judge.
Stay Tuned....
Everything looks good-but we have been here before.
Trying not to get too excited although THIS is the closest we have ever been to finding our child....
Everything hinges on the judge.
Stay Tuned....
Saturday, March 30, 2013
What's New??
What's new?
It is Spring! Finally! and the sunshine outside makes me think it might really be here...
I started walking again....eating better...blah blah blah.
After a traumatic visit to the vet (annual exam-she just HATES the vet-any vet and nothing helps) our 13 year old dachshund probably has Cushings Disease. The good news is she only has mild symptoms and is not "sick". She is happy (now that she is home and well spoiled). It is treatable with medication. The bad news-she is definitely getting older and this will mean more vet visits..
We opened our home to Emergency Foster Care. I am sure our hearts will be full-and broken before all is said and done.
Waiting on that first call...
It is Spring! Finally! and the sunshine outside makes me think it might really be here...
I started walking again....eating better...blah blah blah.
After a traumatic visit to the vet (annual exam-she just HATES the vet-any vet and nothing helps) our 13 year old dachshund probably has Cushings Disease. The good news is she only has mild symptoms and is not "sick". She is happy (now that she is home and well spoiled). It is treatable with medication. The bad news-she is definitely getting older and this will mean more vet visits..
We opened our home to Emergency Foster Care. I am sure our hearts will be full-and broken before all is said and done.
Waiting on that first call...
Friday, March 8, 2013
broken
Hello,
Dusting off the cobwebs yet again....
Still here. Still frustrated by the foster care system.
Trying to focus but not always achieving--but that is what a goal is about-striving for it. I have had some success. So there is that.
I could ramble on here for a loooong time about trying for 6 weeks to set up visits for a foster child in my school. we wanted to help. She is in a bad situation. Made worse by a chaotic foster home. We wanted to provide respite, then agreed to transitional placement with multiple visits first.
Very long story full of bureauocracy later we were heartbroken when we had to refuse to place her in our home.
Unfortunately, when we were finally granted a visit-we figured out that she was too traumatized-the wounds ran too deep- for our care. That she didn't "just" need a quiet, loving home free of other children....she needs that...but SO MUCH more. We tried. We really gave it everything.
We just saw something that made us realize that placement would fail if we took her right then.
We were lied to. We were strung along for weeks. And when finally things started to come together-a visit to our house--it wasn't enough. We asked for more time. More visits (because the something came up near the end of that one lonely visit). We had a plan. A good one. It may not have worked. But we had a plan. Moreover, We wanted it to work. WE wanted HER.
We were denied another visit. Told take her that day or we were done. We had tried for 6 WEEKS to set up multiple visits-always canceled by them for inane reasons at the last fucking minute (literally!). And then they say there is no more time.
We are done. It would not be fair to her to bring her here to fail. It would not be fair to us to bring her here knowing she would escalate and traumatize us as well.
Yet I am heartbroken. She is a broken little girl who needs someone....the system is failing her....
and I wonder where she is sleeping tonight...
Dusting off the cobwebs yet again....
Still here. Still frustrated by the foster care system.
Trying to focus but not always achieving--but that is what a goal is about-striving for it. I have had some success. So there is that.
I could ramble on here for a loooong time about trying for 6 weeks to set up visits for a foster child in my school. we wanted to help. She is in a bad situation. Made worse by a chaotic foster home. We wanted to provide respite, then agreed to transitional placement with multiple visits first.
Very long story full of bureauocracy later we were heartbroken when we had to refuse to place her in our home.
Unfortunately, when we were finally granted a visit-we figured out that she was too traumatized-the wounds ran too deep- for our care. That she didn't "just" need a quiet, loving home free of other children....she needs that...but SO MUCH more. We tried. We really gave it everything.
We just saw something that made us realize that placement would fail if we took her right then.
We were lied to. We were strung along for weeks. And when finally things started to come together-a visit to our house--it wasn't enough. We asked for more time. More visits (because the something came up near the end of that one lonely visit). We had a plan. A good one. It may not have worked. But we had a plan. Moreover, We wanted it to work. WE wanted HER.
We were denied another visit. Told take her that day or we were done. We had tried for 6 WEEKS to set up multiple visits-always canceled by them for inane reasons at the last fucking minute (literally!). And then they say there is no more time.
We are done. It would not be fair to her to bring her here to fail. It would not be fair to us to bring her here knowing she would escalate and traumatize us as well.
Yet I am heartbroken. She is a broken little girl who needs someone....the system is failing her....
and I wonder where she is sleeping tonight...
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
Focus
Last year I stumbled upon a new kind of New Years Resolution. One Word. I was intrigued. And then I forgot about it. Someone I know raved about a book called My One Word. I put it on request at the library and forgot about it.
Then, again at New Years, I stumbled on a website which was a part of this One Word movement. Ironically, the library book I requested came in just after New Years. And I was hooked.
Every year I set New Years resolutions for myself. Every year my list was some variation of this: Grow my nails long, lose weight, exercise more, get organized, take better pictures, learn to use my camera, scrapbook all those pictures, better work paperwork, have a systematic approach to my speech therapy, have a kid, check into fertility treatments, adopt a kid, get financially sound, etc. etc. etc. Do you know how many of those resolutions I just listed I actually achieved? not very many-and never the first year on my list. Life happened.
Focus
That is my word for the year. THAT is what this new concept is about. Don't make a list of resolutions.
BE the resolution.
Pick a word. One word.
A word that represents the change you want in your life. Live that word all year.
Focus
My life feels scattered and unorganized. I struggle with doing things. I get distracted. I leave things unfinished. I flit from one thing to another, rarely finishing one before starting another, or 3.
Focus
This is something I need desperately in my life. The ability to focus on one thing. Not to be playing words with friends, reading blogs, on facebook, talking to my husband and watching TV all at the same time-which just described my normal night. My days and nights blur. Weekends go by with nothing accomplished on my to-do list, yet nothing stands out as having stood in the way most days-no fun, no outings, no crisis. nothing. FOCUS is clearly needed here.
At work, I have at least 17 projects started. And paperwork. Only those with a deadline get finished. I procrastinate, I talk to teachers (about work stuff, but still-we have the same conversation about the same kids doing the same thing and what should we do and if only.......every.single.day.) I need to FOCUS on work. Not scatter myself around it.
I need to Live in THIS moment. Work on ONE thing and FINISH it. Be present and not scattered everywhere.
My word for the year is FOCUS. At the end of the year, my hope is to feel less scattered and much more focused--and that other things-things that would typically be "on my list" for New Year's Resolutions-will move along-or not...but that THIS year I will FOCUS on living my life and loving what happens because of it.
Then, again at New Years, I stumbled on a website which was a part of this One Word movement. Ironically, the library book I requested came in just after New Years. And I was hooked.
Every year I set New Years resolutions for myself. Every year my list was some variation of this: Grow my nails long, lose weight, exercise more, get organized, take better pictures, learn to use my camera, scrapbook all those pictures, better work paperwork, have a systematic approach to my speech therapy, have a kid, check into fertility treatments, adopt a kid, get financially sound, etc. etc. etc. Do you know how many of those resolutions I just listed I actually achieved? not very many-and never the first year on my list. Life happened.
Focus
That is my word for the year. THAT is what this new concept is about. Don't make a list of resolutions.
BE the resolution.
Pick a word. One word.
A word that represents the change you want in your life. Live that word all year.
Focus
My life feels scattered and unorganized. I struggle with doing things. I get distracted. I leave things unfinished. I flit from one thing to another, rarely finishing one before starting another, or 3.
Focus
This is something I need desperately in my life. The ability to focus on one thing. Not to be playing words with friends, reading blogs, on facebook, talking to my husband and watching TV all at the same time-which just described my normal night. My days and nights blur. Weekends go by with nothing accomplished on my to-do list, yet nothing stands out as having stood in the way most days-no fun, no outings, no crisis. nothing. FOCUS is clearly needed here.
At work, I have at least 17 projects started. And paperwork. Only those with a deadline get finished. I procrastinate, I talk to teachers (about work stuff, but still-we have the same conversation about the same kids doing the same thing and what should we do and if only.......every.single.day.) I need to FOCUS on work. Not scatter myself around it.
I need to Live in THIS moment. Work on ONE thing and FINISH it. Be present and not scattered everywhere.
My word for the year is FOCUS. At the end of the year, my hope is to feel less scattered and much more focused--and that other things-things that would typically be "on my list" for New Year's Resolutions-will move along-or not...but that THIS year I will FOCUS on living my life and loving what happens because of it.
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