Thursday, July 4, 2013

from bad to worse

We will be losing her. We are 99.9% sure. It isn't to the family member, which makes this so much harder and unbelievable. The system is underhanded. They lied to us, manipulated us and deliberately sabotaged our hopes.

After promising us (verbally) we would be her adoptive famiky (barring any family that stepped forward and could pass a homestudy) they gave bio mom some profiles of families for her to choose from. We know why we were not chosen because the mother called and told us very bluntly--the system couldn't tell us her reason because that would be endorsing it and let's just say it would be illegal.
Why they even allowed her to choose is a mystery to most-including supervisors. But the damage is done. She met the family and "loves them". No matter what underhanded things happened the fact is the system has no choice but to back the family.

We were kept in the dark. Never had a clue this was happening. Met with workers multiple times this week. Saw worker at 11:45 and everything seemed good. Got a call at 1pm that this was happening.

We are devastated.

We will know more Monday.

1 comment:

  1. Having the child you thought you would be calling your own ripped away is worse then finding out an IVF or DE cycle didn't work. I just read this blog post aloud to my husband and told him this is the very reason why I can't adopt or do foster to adopt. When we had each IVF and the last DE cycle fail my heart was breaking but to lose a child this way would finish me off.

    So very sorry for your loss.