1 step forward...2 steps backward...

It has been about a month or so since my husband and I decided to go ahead with building our family through adoption. I still don't have medical clearance (for a pregnancy) to even think about IVF for me-and I am over 40 so I am not even sure it's a good idea. (almost there with the clearance-they can't find anything-Yay!-but there is this "noise" that shouldn't be there so MRI's and Ultrasounds are being done 1 by 1 to rule out everything to classify me as just an odd duck)

So the husband and I went to an orientation on newborn adoption. It was hard to hear the price tag-even though we knew what it was before we went (over 20K minimum). Also, if for some reason you aren't accepted (fail the application, home study, references-anything) you don't get a refund-not that we would fail-but zOMG that's a scary prospect. There is also the matter of putting yourself out there for a birth mom to "pick" from all the others. THAT alone is daunting. Then there is the time factor. 2-4+ years. or sooner-again-it's the "pick me!" factor.

I called some foster care/adoption agencies.
One really discouraged me from coming in-they prefer to serve people who want older kids. I "could" be served by them...but really, they don't want me.

One agency hasn't contacted me back at all

One I have called 3-4 times a week for 3+ weeks. The woman tried to call me once, maybe twice. I call almost daily (and leave messages every other day)-she is either in a training or "out (in the field) for the rest of the week"

I know foster care/adoption can be a hassle-but seriously, I am almost striking out even getting to an orientation.

Finally, yesterday I found and contacted another agency. They got back to me right away. Unfortunately a couple hours too late for us to make it to the orientation being held last night. BUT there is one next week. Good thing I have an understanding boss because I will have to go from Washington to Shadyside (?) by 5pm. At least it's something, though.

I keep going into the "kids room" and sit. It's nice in there. (it's as done as it can be for now) We need a crib that changes to a toddler bed, though.

Pin it

Have you ever seen an idea that just grabs you on the internet? You know the one. The one that will change your house/work/life. The one you have to remember for the future. So you bookmark it. And a couple/years months later can't find it, have no idea where it is in the 10's of thousands of urls staring at you from your bookmark dropdown. Yeah, that's me. I have an entire page of small print urls, continuous text, in a word document on my desktop-bookmarks from my old computer. I have no idea what's there-and when I remember one and need to find it-it takes forever.

Until Pinterest.

I specifically started on Pinterest to see if I could "pin" speech therapy ideas (I actually emailed requested an invite of Pinterest-because no one I knew was on it (yet)) At the time, I couldn't find any other SLP's on that site. No speech ideas. No language ideas-barely any teaching ideas nothing. I started adding my "finds", liking the idea of "visual, sorted bookmarks" wondering if it would catch on...and in the meantime collecting tons of cool ideas for the home and recipes to make....wow! such great stuff.

Today, I have so many ideas in my "speech therapy toolbox" that I have found on Pinterest. Therapy ideas, classroom ideas, crafts, sensory....all visually sorted. I find new things every day.

Here are just a few:
Tap the lights for words in a sentence or sounds in a word...

Source: lilcountrykindergarten.blogspot.com via Lisa on Pinterest

A pirate sensory box...great for language therapy

Source: countingcoconuts.blogspot.com via Lisa on Pinterest

Sensory stepping stones!

Source: wendyjanelle.blogspot.com via Lisa on Pinterest

Hand print crafts:

Source: weheartit.com via Lisa on Pinterest

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and ideas for my home (or dream home)

Source: melissa-dontforget.blogspot.com via Lisa on Pinterest

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Source: flickr.com via Lisa on Pinterest

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Source: realsimple.com via Lisa on Pinterest

if you haven't checked out Pinterest-do so.



I am ChicoryBlue (all one word) so look me up and follow me.

You can take a look at my boards-there are speech ideas, classroom things, and just general life categories. If you like what you see request an invite from me. you can request on the link above-or leave me a comment with your email address.

You won't regret it!

Oh-and if you are already there-help me find you!


I guess I have to add this: Pinterest doesn't even know I am writing about them. They didn't ask me to and I am not being compensated in any way. I'm just spreading my love of this site.

A Flutter of Butterflies

Walking along the waters edge at Ohiopyle, PA I found this:

A beautiful butterfly:



A few friends decided to join him/her:



and then more:



and then even more!



A huge flutter of butterflies:

Here's to step one....

I called a foster/adoption agency today.

It isn't like I (we) haven't pondered this (and went to informational meetings and read everything and anything and 'picked the brains' of those who have done (or thought about doing) this before.) for I forget how many years.) Things happened. We moved. The husband wanted to wait. I wanted things to be "just right". Then (mild but annoying) health issues and job worries crept in.....

Then, we thought we wouldn't have to adopt (or at least not for our 1st) only to be flung harshly back to square one, but emotionally not ready for anything but huddling inside our 4 walls.

So here we are- tired and emotionally drained-the thought of no children in our house is just crippling us. I doubt we will ever "be ready."

Sometimes it takes a Leap of Faith.

So we jumped

I emailed Children youth and Families in early June. Talked to someone the next week. Asked for agencies with specific detailed information (age of kids, foster-to-adopt, etc). She recommended an agency to call. Called them 3 or 4 times since then. No response. Called them today and insisted I talk to someone-no more messages...only to find out that they don't really deal with what we want to do.

So-did what I did not really want to do:
"Opened the phone book" (google, really). Closed eyes-and picked an agency. That's scary-to place your hopes and dreams on something/someone randomly.

I had a great conversation-and for the first time in awhile- feel like we might be moving in the right direction. I should get information in the mail and a phone call this week.

I can't wait.

I simple wish

I thought 2006-2007 was the worst year (12 month span). The year I was told by more than 1 doctor that I was very infertile, lost my favorite! job! ever! due to budget cuts, and both of my closest grandparents declined drastically-all this in a span of 10 days. Oh-I lost that job on my birthday-in the middle of my "party" at work. Then I was in a job I absolutely hated making less money...prices went up, salary went down and we ended up leaving the place we loved to move home (and while I love Pittsburgh, it feels like a failure when you have to move home due to finances.)

Then, 2010-11 happened. Both of my aforementioned grandparents died. Then the worst thing ever happened.

It's a "new" year now (if you start from when things started going bad last year)...and I am asking for one simple thing...to have the best ever. I really need it. Trust me on that one.

Exhausted Rambling

I have no idea why I agreed to move 2 miles down the road.
I think it's the 3rd bedroom.
I want one.
and the storage (a garage, closets (!!!) shelves and cupboards galore (except, ironically, in the kitchen which has the least amount of cabinets I have ever seen in one). Did I mention closets? and storage (something we are severely lacking in out current place)

Maybe it's the backyard (once you climb over the cliff)-there is a great space for a (well-deer proofed) garden....once we clear it--the previous tenants didn't mow the grass back there for 5 years. Srsly-5 years of weeds).
The husband was sold on the place when he saw the "man cave" and the fact that it has AC. and the fact that there is so much less dust. Our place now is full of it-No matter how much I clean, the next day there is a layer of dust. There is still coal in the ductwork from a billion years ago when there was a coal furnace (before 1940, since our gas furnace is at least that old)

It certainly wasn't the location.
or the driveway (I will have to park across the street a few houses down in the winter because it's a STEEP driveway on a busy street)

or the fact that we have to move in 8 days so we can go to the beach and relax.

or the fact that every room needs painted. By Tuesday. (carpet cleaners are coming) and we have not been able to start the biggest room (DR/LR combo) because the brother is still chipping/sanding tile and whatever else you do to install a new tub.

I am exhausted. I love painting (really, I do!) My body doesn't.
Every wall and closet and cupboard needs scrubbed. 5 years of Dust and grime and dog coat the walls. The garage even needs scrubbed.

The outside needs work, too. Oh-and I have to find a place, prepare it and transplant all my plants.

and I need to pack....

and sleep....

and work....

Stress...part 1

Summer is supposed to be my down time...My fun time...My relax and don't think about work time.
This summer-is not fun. My mind won't let me relax. I can't stop thinking about work.

There is a very good chance I will be unemployed and without health benefits in 24 days.

The state school system is in serious trouble. Our new governor is cutting over one BILLION dollars to public schools. It means that every school system is cutting back. Furlough are everywhere. Programs are cut. Pay-for-play sports are becoming reality all over the place.

No one is happy about it-not the students, the parents, the employees or administration (but now that I think about it--I see that there are no cuts in administration forthcoming)

Due to multiple factors, my employer is Furloughing over 70 special education teachers. To be announced June 30th. Teachers hired in 2002 were told (by our union) they were "on the borderline" of the cut. I was hired in 2006. I am having a hard time rationalizing this. To have have worked for over 4 years for a school, be tenured and still be on the chopping block (and my coworkers who have worked 5, 6, 7 and more years and are not safe either) is unfathomable to me.

I am the only one employed full-time and with benefits in my house. (and FYI-I do not make a lot of money as a (speech) teacher....I am on a teachers salary--Jump steps are far far far in my future-so far that they will probably be nonexistent when I actually get that far into the salary scale.)

The Stress gets thicker:

Should I be lucky enough to have a job after June 30th-there is a good chance that it won't be the one I have now. The one I love. The one where I make a difference. With the age group I love (preschool). My employer realigns everyone during a furlough-changing positions to absorb the holes left by cuts-meaning they can move me anywhere they want to accommodate someone with more seniority than me.

I don't sleep. I toss and turn. My stomach is in knots.

All I can do is wait for that letter on June 30th. Telling me where to report for work...or not.