broken

Hello,
Dusting off the cobwebs yet again....

Still here. Still frustrated by the foster care system.

Trying to focus but not always achieving--but that is what a goal is about-striving for it. I have had some success. So there is that.

I could ramble on here for a loooong time about trying for 6 weeks to set up visits for a foster child in my school. we wanted to help. She is in a bad situation. Made worse by a chaotic foster home. We wanted to provide respite, then agreed to transitional placement with multiple visits first.
Very long story full of bureauocracy later we were heartbroken when we had to refuse to place her in our home.

Unfortunately, when we were finally granted a visit-we figured out that she was too traumatized-the wounds ran too deep- for our care. That she didn't "just" need a quiet, loving home free of other children....she needs that...but SO MUCH more. We tried. We really gave it everything.
We just saw something that made us realize that placement would fail if we took her right then.

We were lied to. We were strung along for weeks. And when finally things started to come together-a visit to our house--it wasn't enough. We asked for more time. More visits (because the something came up near the end of that one lonely visit). We had a plan. A good one. It may not have worked. But we had a plan. Moreover, We wanted it to work. WE wanted HER.


We were denied another visit. Told take her that day or we were done. We had tried for 6 WEEKS to set up multiple visits-always canceled by them for inane reasons at the last fucking minute (literally!). And then they say there is no more time.

We are done. It would not be fair to her to bring her here to fail. It would not be fair to us to bring her here knowing she would escalate and traumatize us as well.

Yet I am heartbroken. She is a broken little girl who needs someone....the system is failing her....

and I wonder where she is sleeping tonight...